Cry

The first thing a baby learns is how to cry. It's the same when we are born again.

A new way to live!

I had such an awesome conversation with a friend today, almost life-changing! He is such a humble man of God. He taught me that living life in Christ is simple, and he speaks with so much authority!

I want to share some nuggets. Haha, hope they'll bless ya too!

1. By looking at Jesus, we learn how sons are treated. Through Jesus, Papa is demonstrating how He treats His sons! I have to throw off the mindset of trying to figure out what sons have to do. Just soak in the excitement of learning how well He protects and provides for His family! It's a completely different way of living!

2. We do not have to worry or stress over bringing worship to Papa. He only wants us to enjoy His love, and out of that experience, worship comes naturally. Why do the angels worship? They are in direct contact with His love! If worship is an expression of our love, then we love because He first loved us! Make knowing His love our first priority over giving Him our love.

3. Stop believing that things will not happen if we do not ask God continually everyday. It is not by our efforts! Rather, start believing that everything has been accomplished by the cross. Everything. Faith is the act of receiving all that God has given us. I realized I've been fighting for things which God already paid the price for. Prayer is allowing God to change the way we think. We do not even have to worry about lacking faith, because this stems from a fear that we have not done enough. Jesus loves us so much that He paid the full price. He will even give us the faith to believe, if we allow Him to do that. Time to change the way we pray :)

4. How then shall we live? Our circumstances can discourage us. We do not see the fulfillment of His promises in our lives. When Paul was tormented by the thorn in his flesh, God replied that His grace is sufficient for him, for His power is made perfect in his weakness. We can rejoice, because He is more than enough! :D Paul sang and rejoiced in prison! The circumstances could not change his attitude. Rather, his attitude changed the circumstances! An earthquake came, the chains fell off, and he walked out a free man!

5. Our minds can imprison us. I used to be an atheist. My beliefs about His non-existence prevented me from experiencing His love, peace and joy! Even as Christians, our minds can hinder us from His blessings. How then do we change the way we think? Allow Him to remind us of His promises. They are so important that He recorded them in written form: the bible! It's like a receipt, telling you the things which have already been paid for. Show that receipt to the enemy when he tries to cheat you of your inheritance!

Self-control

I just read a wonderful blog that is just overflowing from the writer's intimacy with Jesus! I love her desire for fresh revelation from the Spirit, not wanting overlook old themes and stories as just being familiar. What a fun way to read the bible!

There is this verse that many can recite, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control."

Familiarity says, "This is about how you can tell someone is living by the Spirit, because he/she will display all these qualities in his/her life." But we take it to be nine extra things we need to accomplish in our lives.

Then, in discovering spiritual warfare, we learn, "This is a powerful way to tell if a spirit or a voice is from God or from the enemy." But we reduce discernment to a bunch of principles, forgetting the Person who is our Counselor, who leads us into all truth.

Hahaha, we as humans, myself included, are really *really* good at taking a relationship that is personal, and making it principled.

Okie, to self-control. I feel that this is the fruit that is most misunderstood. For many of us, self-control is about overcoming temptations. I believe it is so much more than that!

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things."

Self-control is not just about stopping bad stuff from coming into our lives, its also about allowing good stuff in. It is about controlling what feeds our souls, and Who we allow to guide our lives. It is about believing Him about our destinies, and following Him into the promised land. But anyone who has tried to live this good life will know that it is incredibly hard. What can we do? We are but humans. How can we have self-control?

I think the promise for us, is that we can ask the Holy Spirit for it, like picking fruit off a Tree. He who helps us to experience His love, joy and peace, will also imbue us with a supernatural ability to stand firm, that we not be like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.

It is not one more thing we need to do, but one more thing we can depend on Him for.

BananaLOG?

Okay, I've been meaning to explain the name of this blog for a while.

In secondary school (grades 7-10), I was in the yellow house (kinda like those in Harry Potter movies). My house did a play called "Bananas and Cheese", if I remember the name right. The scriptwriter said he chose "bananas" because as a Chinese growing up in an English-speaking American-loving culture, he feels like a banana: yellow on the outside but white on the inside. Since then, I called myself the "Banana Guy", not just because I love eating the fruit, but also because I really *really* sucked at Chinese.

The name kinda stuck on me, and got embarrassing after I graduated from high school. But since becoming a Christian, I realized that God has a purpose for me in being a bridge between the East and the West. I was born again in the East in Singapore, grew up in the Lord in the West in America, and am returning soon to the East to my homeland.

I am ever aware of the special destiny that God has given my culture and my country. But I also appreciate the baton that the Western Church is passing to us, through two thousand years of incredible inheritance. Growing up, I have seen my culture reject Christianity as a Western religion. All this is changing. When the Holy Spirit prevented Paul from preaching in Asia (Acts 16:6), He had an end-time purpose in mind. The gospel has swept around the globe, and now Asia is in the middle of the greatest revival ever. More is coming! We are rising up to our unique part in the body of Christ. We are learning that Jesus is not only of the Jews nor only of the West, but the desire of all nations. I am amazed by how Jesus is manifesting himself to Asia now (1, 2, 3, 4) just as in the days of Paul and Peter!

So yes, BananaLOG is a play on words, the LOG book of a Banana, a B-LOG. That this is also a blog of a crazy person, one who has gone bananas. It is foolishness to the world, and I am deeply aware of that :) But I'm not claiming everything is right either :P I pray everyone practices Godly discernment. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.

Steps of Faith

I want to keep this entry simple. It is about how He loves us, and how much we can trust Him.

Recently, I have been going through a really hard time. I could feel a lot of lies hitting me from all directions. I could feel myself slipping away from Him. I was losing control of my life. I felt depressed and desperate. I felt like I messed up big time. I felt stupid, worthless, hopeless.

One morning, I was so desperate, I got down on my knees and cried out to Papa. I said, "Father, I messed up big time, I do not deserve to come before you. But I really need you. I need you. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me." That's all I could say for a long time.

But then He comes, with tears of compassion in His eyes, and whispers "Hold on, My son. Trust me. You can trust me." I went through the rest of the day holding on to those two words, "Trust me." It kept me going, gave me courage so I wouldn't give up.

That evening, I played a song "Selah" that a friend sent me. In that moment, I felt pure joy fill my heart. It was unlike anything I have ever experienced. I felt all my worries, burdens melt away. I saw all the lies and the fear flee. I was so overwhelmed by His goodness. Most of all, I was so glad I trusted Him. Before, it felt like I had faith, and now, I had Faith. It was Faith that comes from him, not from myself. It felt so solid, so real, something I could lean on, something I could depend my life on.

I understood in that moment, two very basic things about the Kingdom of God. The first is His grace, how there is such an abundance of it! We can always come back to Him no matter how much we felt we messed up. Even if we can't hear His voice. This is such a basic principle! I felt like God wrote this onto my heart.

The second is trusting Him. Oh, how worthy He is of our trust! The Kingdom advances by our trust in Him, not by our efforts. It is such pure joy to trust in Him, even in our darkest hours, and see Him come through!

AND HE WILL COME THROUGH!

I saw how He advances our faith one step at a time. Our current faith leads us back to His feet in our times of desperation, and what we experience there propels us to the next step. From glory to glory!

I'm not through the valley of the shadow of death yet. But He gave me a glimpse of the end of the tunnel. I have the faith and the hope to finish the race.

Grace, and Trust. These are cornerstones of His kingdom. Lord, let me never ever forget that. And we will always come back to them, again and again and again.

It's all very simple

From an old journal entry:

"you just need to hear my voice. don’t worry, come forward my son. this is what you were made for. it is actually very simple, the goal of it all. intimacy with me. that’s what they desire. jesus, the desire of the nations. that is what i desire, from the very beginning, when i created adam. it is all very simple. intimacy."

"this is what you need the most courage for. to step forward in intimacy. the next thing you need the most courage for: to help others step into this intimacy, in a way special and unique to them. their gifts, their service, their glory, their legacy, all stems out of this intimacy, all flows into this intimacy.”

if it is that simple, why do i struggle so much? where is my boldness? what am i afraid of?

“standing at the door. not sure of whether you should come in. is there a right and a wrong? what if there is a wrong? come in, take a look and see. explore, take your time. you don’t always have to know what to do the first time. make mistakes. cry. laugh. pick yourself up. there is always mercy. there is always grace. lots of grace.”

father, i want to remain here. i want to sing. i don’t want to care what the world thinks anymore.

“good! fly, shine, arise. they are all symbols of the same thing. freedom. be yourself. be who you were created to be. allow me to flow through you and rejuvenate you.”

“you may seem silly to the world, but not in my eyes. there is an adventurous spirit in there. a boldness. a craziness. that’s you.”

“i will speak your destiny into your life. i will be the one, not you through your gift. it is different. you will know the difference.”

i love you Lord. i want you. you are so good. you know me.

!

You are my strength

You are my strength
Strength like no other
Strength like no other
Reaches to me

You are my hope
Hope like no other
Hope like no other
Reaches to me

In the fullness of Your grace
In the power of Your Name
You lift me up
You lift me up

Unfailing love
Stronger than mountains
Deeper than oceans
Reaches to me

Your love O Lord
Reaches to the heavens
Your faithfulness
Reaches to the skies

.

how long have I
been in this storm
so overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
water's getting harder to tread
with these waves crashing over my head

if I could just see you
everything will be alright
if I'd see you
the storminess will turn to light

and I will walk on water
and you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
and everything will be alright
and everything will be alright

I know you didn't
bring me out here to drown
so why am I ten feet under and upside down
barely surviving has become my purpose
cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface

Science and Religion

I found an old talk of mine online!

http://xastanford.org/messages/shaowei-science-and-religion.mp3

One thing I would have said differently is how God would have saved me from a gang of killers. Perhaps not an avalanche.

You hold me

You are my shepherd,
I shall not want.
You hold me in your hands.
I will let go so you can take over.

Simple

Simplicity. Enter the moment, the present, the now. Experience. You don't have to analyze, you don't have to understand everything. We can trust Him with where we are now. Rest. Rejoice!

Be thankful for the past. You can't be living in the past, even if it was really good, but you can be thankful for it. The good gets better.

Be hopeful for the future. God was good. Is good. Will always be.

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." @ 1 Thess 5:16-18

We who are born again, we never die. The same goes with our relationships. Relationships never end. They may change but they never end. Every relationship different, every one unique. Each has a life of their own.

I am who I am

From the One who said "I am who I am," He gives us the freedom to be the same.

No need to change, or be someone else. Just where we are. Now.

I am who I am.

Contend.

I have seen what is possible. How can I still be content with what I have now?

"Then, contend. Contend. Contend with Me."

What do I contend for? I cannot find it here on earth.

"You'll be the first. You'll be the blueprint. Be the match that sparks a forest fire."

Raw

Raw... so raw. I trust you Bro.

"I give You all of me for all You are
Here I am
Take me apart
Take me apart"

Never Fall Down

Let me teach you how to never fall down, how to never get hurt: Don't put yourself out there. Don't do things that you don't already know how to do, or things that you do not do well. Don't put your emotions into what you do, don't raise your hopes too high. Try not to feel or experience the process. Focus on the goal and play it safe.

That way, you will never fail, because success is about accomplishing something, not about picking up yourself when you fall. And because you did not put your feelings into it, you won't be hurt when you fall. Even better: you won't have to depend on anyone else but yourself. Not even God.

And when you have lots of successes, you can be proud of yourself. You can say that you achieved everything you wanted, and did not experience any hurts, or anything at all, along the way.

***

"I have gone before you, you can trust in Me. Only be strong and courageous. Don't be afraid to fall. I am with you always, especially when it hurts. You are stronger than you think, more brave than you know. I know that about you."

You are loved

Reblogged from a friend :) the words are due to Graham Cooke, an amazing friend of God.

Epic Songs from the Epic Trip

Take me apart

I am finally ready to discover who I am.

"I give You all of me for all You are
Here I am
Take me apart
Take me apart"

Friends with God

I've not blogged for a while, and there is actually a lot that I want to write about. So here it is. I've bunched them all into one article, and I couldn't think of a good title for this entry but the above sums up my feelings pretty well.

First, let me tell you a story about one of my closest friends. After I first met him, God told me that we were going to be good friends. So I asked God to tell me everything about him. He said, "Why don't you get to know him the normal way?" I asked, "Which is?" And He said, "By talking to him."

Over the months, through our conversations, we indeed became close. I have been given many prophetic words for other people, but I received very few for him. Almost everything I know about him comes from talking to him. Recently, he asked me if I have any words of knowledge for him, and I said, "Unfortunately no. Looks like we have to do it the normal way!"

It occurred to me the next day that I often do the same with God. I go to Him asking if He has any words for me, to help me deal with my issues or my decisions. But He really desires to just talk with me. It is as though He switches off His prophetic gift (which by the way is really really powerful!) and smiles, "How are you today?" It hit me that He really really wants to be friends with us. Not primarily a master or a teacher or a counsellor, but a friend.

Here is another thread, bear with me, but it'll lead somewhere. The story of Peter having a vision where a voice tells him to "kill and eat" in Acts 10. Peter says that he will not eat anything impure. But the voice said, "Do not call anything impure that God has made clean." I've noticed that I'm subconsciously labeling everything as secular or christian. Especially people. I realized that God doesn't look at someone and thinks he or she is non-christian. So why should we?

There is something to be said about finding goodness in every situation and every person. There is no such thing as a secular situation or a christian situation, but in every situation, we can see God at work and we can see where God is not at work. This is also true about church, where we have come to believe that everything preached must be from God. We need to practice discernment. At the same time, I've learnt some of my deepest lessons from "secular" events and "secular" people!

Someone asked me recently, "Why do you always prophesy good things? Doesn't God see the negative in us that needs changing?" Then, I realized it is impossible for God to see us as bad or being defined by something bad. He sees the bad stuff hindering and crippling us like a disease that is not a part of us. The good news is that we no longer are bound to this disease. The cross accomplished this. But cross or no cross, God never saw the cup as half-empty. He always sees us as half-full. He sees our goodness and wants to give us even more. The cross accomplishes this.

Which brings me to the crux: that there is so much good in people! When I look around, the world is in color! I see the amazingness that God has created his people with. The fields are white for harvest, they are not black! We are not harvesting weeds! We are calling out the goodness in people, to bring it to their attention, to show them how much worth they have. This is the harvest!

Be Strong and Courageous

Sometimes, when we feel helpless and hopeless, it is time to be strong and courageous.