Words

I've struggled to express myself with words all my life. I often feel like I don't have the words to describe what I'm seeing or what I'm feeling. Trying to convey the message to someone else, it frustrates me. One of my friends said wisely, "A picture is like a thousand words. Trying to describe a picture with words is like trying to color a large box with a thin pen." Indeed.

I now understand why during worship, I don't usually sing in words. I cry out in wordless sounds, but deep inside I feel like God knows exactly what I'm trying to say. It unlimits me from the need to find the right words, bypassing my mind, allowing my spirit to interact with Him directly.

Before the Tower of Babel, all of the world's people spoke in one language and they understood each other perfectly. But after Babel, they started to babble as their language got confused. When Jesus died on the cross, this curse was reversed. Indeed, when the Holy Spirit came, the people spoke in tongues. I believe this was what language was truly like before Babel. It was a spiritual language, where words did not just have logical content, but had emotional and spiritual content as well.

I feel like God is trying to teach me to speak a new way. "Use words to describe what you want to say, but not to define what you want to say." My words are no longer to be taken at face value. They are only portals to the larger picture that I hold inside of me. Anyone who wants to know me will recognize this portal and receive the invitation to enter in. I feel that this is the same with God and His words. He often gives us such a small snippet, but it opens up a whole new world, if we choose to enter in.

Words have depth. Some words are so deep they draw us straight to the depths of the intimacies and the vulnerabilities of His heart. To truly know someone else, we don't need them to tell us exactly what is going on inside of them. They only need to give us a tiny snippet of it, and with that invitation, we can enter in entirely.

Entertaining the possibility

God recently showed me a way of looking at faith that I had not understood before. Sometimes, when I think about faith, I think about believing absolutely that something is going to happen, or something is the truth or the reality. For instance, if God says, "It is going to snow tomorrow," I sometimes feel like I have to believe it absolutely or it might not happen. I start thinking in my mind, how it might happen because this week's weather is so warm, and whether I am testing God, and whether it would cause problems on the streets because cars don't know how to drive in the snow? I start wrestling in my mind, if it is God's voice or my own voice, and if I need to ask Him to confirm this, and if I just need to rest in how much He loves me, and if I have enough faith?

Perhaps God is just saying "What if it could snow in Berkeley, the way it snows in Tahoe?"

Entertaining the possibility. It really takes the stress off of you, to try to make something happen, when God wants to be the one to accomplish it. I'm learning that God wants to speak to me in the What-If's. What if everything you do every moment of every day could be fun? What if I can be in His manifest presence all the time? What if anything I could entertain the possibility of actually comes true? What if entertaining the possibility is all that is required of us? What if this is what Jesus meant when he talks about "faith as small as a mustard seed"? What if God understands and knows exactly how to satisfy fully every need for intimacy inside of me? What if I never ever have to bring His presence to the world, but it is more like a flood that I cannot contain because He is so with me all the time?

Intimacy

Intimacy has no greater goal than to know and to be known. Sometimes, this happens when we sit side by side, not saying anything at all.

Boundaries in Dating

I read this paragraph about romantic relationships on pg 146-147 of the book "Boundaries" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. Not your typical stuff about dating boundaries. In short, don't date to heal your inner wounds.

Romantic relationships are, by nature, risky. Many singles who have not developed good attachments with other people and who have not had their boundaries respected try to learn the rules of biblical friendships by dating. They hope that the safety of these relationships will help them to learn to love, be loved and set limits.

Quite often, these individuals come out of a few months of dating more injured than when they went in. They may feel let down, put down, or used. This is not a dating problem. It's a problem in understanding the purpose of dating.

The purpose of dating is to practice and experiment. The end goal of dating is generally to decide, sooner or later, whether or not to marry. Dating is a means to find out what kind of person we complement and with whom we are spiritually and emotionally compatible. It's a training ground for marriage.

This fact causes a built-in conflict. When we date, we have the freedom to say, at any time, "This isn't working out," and to end the relationship. The other person has the same freedom.

What does this mean for the person whose boundaries have been injured? Often, she brings immature, undeveloped aspects of her character to an adult romantic situation. In an arena of low commitment and high risk, she seeks the safety, bonding, and consistency that her wounds need. She entrusts herself too quickly to someone whom she is dating because her needs are so intense. And she will be devastated when things "don't work out."

This is a little like sending a three-year-old to the front lines of battle. Dating is a way for adults to find out about each other's suitability for marriage; it's not a place for young, injured souls to find healing. This healing can best be found in nonromantic arenas, such as support groups, church groups, therapy, and same-sex friendships. We need to keep separate the purposes of romantic and nonromantic friendships.

It's best to learn the skill of setting boundaries in these nonromantic arenas, where the attachments and commitments are greater. Once we've learned to recognize, set, and keep our biblical boundaries, we can use them on the adult playground called dating.

Dating

I just found out from Dewen that Shawn Bolz just released a book about dating recently, called "The Nonreligious Guide to Dating and Being Single". I have not read it but if it is anything like his blog posts, it should be awesome!

I've been thinking about romantic relationships lately. In my own life, I've often wondered about my resistance to dating and marriage. One day, it occurred to me that it's because I've been taught subtly in my youth that relationship with a girl threatens my relationship with God. This cannot be further from the truth. In the beginning, Adam was alone with God, but God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone." And He created Eve. Don't be mistaken. God did not create Eve just for friendship. He created her for union with Adam. "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh."

What about Paul? Didn't he say that celibacy is good in 1 Cor 7? Kris Vallotton gives a very good commentary about this passage in one of his sermons, if you can find it. In summary, Paul was talking to a crowd of people who believed that marriage was the only way. So he says to the unmarried and the widows, who felt condemned for choosing to be single, that "It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do." And when he says, "I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that," he was talking about his gift in not being tempted sexually, not his gift of celibacy. Paul never condemned marriage. He would never say that something is bad, something which God himself says is good. In fact, he talks about marriage all the time in all his books, especially with regards to Jesus as the Groom, and us the Bride.

So now, what about all the young teens who are getting into hurtful romantic relationships and premarital sex and all that stuff? I agree that such things are dangerous, but WE SHOULD NEVER CREATE THEOLOGY TO SOLVE A PROBLEM!! I believe the solution is to teach our youths what healthy romantic relationships are. For instance, we should not get from our girl/boyfriend what we actually want from God, and we should not get from God what we need to get from our girl/boyfriend. That perhaps there is "THE ONE" (who you marry), but it is often impossible to figure that out (i.e. prophetically?) until we start to date that person and get to know that person the normal way (i.e. spend quality time).

So I encourage young people to date. Ask God what it is like to have a healthy fulfilling relationship. It is a great learning experience. But don't date if you don't want to date. There have been seasons in my life where God was leading me into so much intimacy that I did not have any desire to date anyone at all. This is very different from believing that God can only lead you into more intimacy if you don't date. My own dating experience is testimony that there are things that God can teach me only through a romantic relationship.

What if

What if God always causes good to come out of every situation, no matter whether you believe Him or not?

Perhaps this is what faith feels like.

What if God always finishes the good work which he begun in you, no matter whether you are trying hard or not?

Perhaps this is what faith feels like.

Faith is seeing that there are two parallel realities you can live in, and then realizing that only one is real.

That reality does not depend on how much we can do or believe. Its very existence is the force that causes us to believe. That reality tells us to let go of being defined by how much we can do. Unlearn. Life is not about learning more, but about unlearning the things that hinder us. Because God has already put in us everything we need for this journey, from the very beginning.

Sloppy Wet Kiss

By the writer of the song "How He loves", John Mark McMillan:

“HEAVEN meets EARTH like a sloppy wet kiss”

The idea behind the lyric is that the kingdom of heaven and the kingdom of earth converge in a way that is both beautiful and awkwardly messy. Think about the birth of a child, or even the death of Jesus himself. These miracles are both incredibly beautiful and incredibly sloppy ("gory" may be more realistic, but “Heaven meets earth like a gory mess” didn’t seem to have the same ring). Why does the church have such a problem with things being sloppy? Do we really think we’re fooling anyone on Sunday morning, especially God? Are we going to offend him? I mean, he’s seen us naked in the shower all week and knows our worst thoughts, and still thinks we’re awesome. What if we took all the energy we spent faking and used that energy to enjoy the Lord instead? That could be revolutionary!

I recently realized that I got the primary condition of His kingdom all wrong, that His kingdom is not crease-less, wrinkle-less, squeaky-clean or glossy. As someone else said, it's like a game of poker where God wins no matter what hand He is dealt, even a pair of twos. It is like David who murdered someone to marry Bathsheba, and yet God caused Jesus to be born through that marriage. That in any mess, God can create beauty. A beautiful mess.

Experiencing His love

I found this in my journal... haha, cool stuff. Can't remember where I got this.

You can only love as much as you've experienced His love.
So stop asking if you love Him enough.
Choose to experience more of His love.

His yoke is light

Last week at church, I saw in my mind a picture of a person juggling two balls happily. God was standing at the side. He was throwing in more balls, and the person struggled to juggle more and more of them. But all God wanted him to do was to pass the balls on, not to hold all of them in his hands. I saw that this is how much God was desiring to pour out to the world around us through us, but He didn't want us to be overwhelmed.

Today, I read this on pg 40 of the book "The Cause Within You" by Matthew Barnett.

The beauty of the cause God gives you is that it is tailor-made for you. Like the Scripture says, "His yoke is light and the burden easy to bear." That's because your cause will utilize the strengths He has endowed you with. [...] When you carry His load, it is light, especially in comparison to the burdens you create for yourself.

What I really like is what he said next!

Here's the image I carry in my mind of how this works: when I start to feel overwhelmed, it's because I am heaping unproductive burdens on my shoulders; all I am doing is accumulating more commitments that do not facilitate positive results. But when I am fulfilling the cause that God gave me, I am continually giving to others, depleting the weight of whatever I have accumulated for the journey. The more I give, the lighter I feel. Sometimes, when I have given all I can give in that situation, I feel as light as a feather. I'm tired, sure, but I am exhilarated because I gave it all away and it's making a positive difference in someone else's life. It gives me a light-headed feeling, an unburdened feeling.

Let us be floodgates, not dams, of His blessings.

When Jacob becomes Israel

The Lord tells Jacob, “Go back to the land of your fathers and to your relatives, and I will be with you.” So Jacob runs away from Laban, only to have Laban pursue him. After that was resolved, he finds that his angry brother Esau is coming to him with four hundred men. How many of us have chosen to finally obey God's plan for us, only to find trouble coming our way?

In great fear and distress Jacob divided the people who were with him into two groups, and the flocks and herds and camels as well. He thought, “If Esau comes and attacks one group, the group that is left may escape.”

Jacob prayed, “O God of my father Abraham, God of my father Isaac, LORD, you who said to me, ‘Go back to your country and your relatives, and I will make you prosper,’ I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness you have shown your servant. I had only my staff when I crossed this Jordan, but now I have become two camps. Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid he will come and attack me, and also the mothers with their children. But you have said, ‘I will surely make you prosper and will make your descendants like the sand of the sea, which cannot be counted.’”

Jacob prayed for deliverance from his brother. Things seem to make a turn for worse when Jacob was injured that night.

That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two female servants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions.
So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man.
Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.”
But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”
The man asked him, “What is your name?”
“Jacob,” he answered.
Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”
Jacob said, “Please tell me your name.”
But he replied, “Why do you ask my name?” Then he blessed him there.
So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, “It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.”
The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, and he was limping because of his hip.

That day, Jacob, who always depended on himself and whom God could not defeat, saw God face to face and was changed forever. He went limping into a confrontation with Esau, knowing that unless God steps in, all would be gone.

He is looking, not for people who believe they can, but for people who believe He can.

Alignment.

Alignment with God's plan. Sometimes, it really hurts, especially when crooked patterns which have set in are being straightened. But we need to trust that God knows what He is doing. He is doing it because at the end, it will be a lot better for us. We need to trust Him through the pain.

Get up and eat

Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, while he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, LORD,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep.

All at once an angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.” He looked around, and there by his head was some bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again.

The angel of the LORD came back a second time and touched him and said, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. There he went into a cave and spent the night.

And the word of the LORD came to him: “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

He replied, “I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”

The LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.”

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.

Bigger Dreams

Bigger dreams are not accomplished through greater effort. They are accomplished through greater faith.

He is looking, not for people who believe they can, but for people who believe He can.

But this truth can be one of the hardest to learn. Sometimes, we are brought to the limit of our abilities, because we try so hard to do the impossible.

http://bananaguy.blogspot.com/2009/05/dont-try.html

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." @2Cor12:9

What if it is possible to accomplish our dreams, not by trying, but by resting?

Benefits

God, don't you get upset when I value someone more than I value You?

"Haha, not really."

What? Why?!

"Well, there are certain benefits to being God."

Hmm...?

"One of them is that I understand what you're going through now."

Depths

You take me apart, and You know me. You know me in my depths, in my chaos. And I rest.



"My heart is held by love so unconditional.
You captivate me,
You're the lover of my soul."

God always speaks clearly

Never allow yourself to believe that it's hard to hear God. Never.

God always speaks clearly. Sometimes in an audible voice. Sometimes in a gentle whisper. Sometimes in his peaceful presence. But He always speaks clearly.

But He doesn't always answer the way we expect Him to.

Sometimes, when we ask for Direction, He is more interested in teaching us Posture. Because Posture will bring us further than Direction can.

Focus on what God is saying, not on what He is not saying.

This is the same in relationships between people. Sometimes, we get so caught up in what someone is not saying, becoming angry or frustrated or disappointed with them. If we would just listen to what they are saying. This is the beginning of Communication.

Never allow yourself to believe that it's hard to hear God. Never allow this belief into the foundations of your relationship with a Father who loves you, knows you and desires to be known.

He can

God is not looking for people who believe they can. He is looking for people who believe He can.

For instance, it is not about our ability to hear Him, but His ability to speak to us.

When we say nothing is impossible with Him (no word from God will ever fail), how much of it do we actually believe?

It's also not about your ability to believe. Let go of that. Life's better that way.

Let His love convince you to believe.

Love empowers us to have faith. Experiencing His love -- the reality, rawness and intensity of the encounter -- causes our faith in His goodness, His power, His grace to explode.

Faith empowers us to hope. Knowing His goodness, His power, His grace causes us to dream wilder, crazier dreams. It gives us courage to move despite our fears, to take risks and not be afraid of falling.

Our risks open us to the wildest, uncontrollable, sweetest experience of His love, satisfying the deepest hunger of our hearts, ruining us forever. It cannot come by any other way. And we thirst desperately for more.

Love begets Faith begets Hope begets Love.

Words

Words are powerful. Use words to describe yourself, and to open new realms of hope, but never be defined by them.

Control and Choice

You may not always have Control, but you always have a Choice.

Wedding and Marriage

"Nobody goes into a relationship to prepare for the Wedding. They go into it to prepare for the Marriage."



New Doxology - Gateway Worship

Praise God from Whom all blessings flow
Praise Him, all creatures here below
Praise Him above, ye heavenly hosts
Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost

Let earth and heavenly saints proclaim
The power and might of His great Name
Let us exalt on bended knee
Praise God, the Holy Trinity

Praise God, praise God, praise God, Who saved my soul
Praise God, praise God, praise God from Whom all blessings flow

Praise to the King, His throne transcends
His crown and Kingdom never end
Now and throughout eternity
I'll praise the One Who died for me

Supernatural Culture

Healing becomes common-place. Supernatural provisions and blessings.

Partnership with the angelic.

Third Heaven visitations.