We were made for glory

In this season, every insignificant thing seems to be stripped away one by one. Until we are left facing our biggest fears. The ones that has been with us all our lives. The ones that live subconsciously, unconsciously. The ones which we thought we had dealt with but find are still around when we turn the corner. I see my friends around me. Their eyes, glazed over. Hopes melt away. What they knew, they now question. Then I realize I'm not alone.

Just when I thought, no one else understands. True, no one knows what really is going on deep in our hearts. No one else has experienced it before. We stand at the frontier. We are the first there. The giants snarl before us. The waves threaten to swallow us. We are like tiny midgets. "Where are you, God? WHERE ARE YOU?!" There is silence. We wait, but there is no sound.

A gentle breeze blows in the distance. We look around us, we are not alone. Everyone is taking their stand. We each face the bears and lions we fought before, only bigger. A light flickers inside us. It stirs. It arises, slowly but surely. He is with us. This time, He is inside.

We were made for glory. All of us special, all of us unique. Our journeys brought us here. He would not lead us here, if we were not ready. "There is much strength in you, that you know not about." Be strong and courageous. Now is the time.

My Father loves me

My Father loves me for who I am. For who I am now. For who I am in my deepest, beyond my deeds, beyond my habits, beyond my personality. He loves my core, my seed. He loves the sinner. He loves the hungry. He loves the sick. He loves the troubled. He loves the homeless. He loves the loveless. What is this love. I can never fully understand.

In His eyes, I am good. I am perfect. I'm His apple. I'm His favorite. He loves my voice, my eyes, my hands, my feet. He loves every strand of hair on my head. He loves my smell. He loves the way I move, the way I speak, the way I cry. Its all special to Him, its all precious to Him. Who am I? Who am I that He should do this? What does He see in me? What makes Him smile? Why is He like this? Who made Him like this? Who told Him to love me? Why should He love me? What does He see in me?

What if God was not good? What if He allowed bad things to happen? What if He is silent? What if He is gone, away? Why did Job stick by His God? What did he see in Him? Who is his God? Who is this God? What is the seed of God? What is the core of God? The immutable, the unchangeable? Not His deeds? Not His emotions? Not His words? What is the core of God that is so mesmerizing? Why is He like this? Who is He? Who is this God? How can He know me and yet I don't know Him?

"I want you."

I want you.