It's all very simple

From an old journal entry:

"you just need to hear my voice. don’t worry, come forward my son. this is what you were made for. it is actually very simple, the goal of it all. intimacy with me. that’s what they desire. jesus, the desire of the nations. that is what i desire, from the very beginning, when i created adam. it is all very simple. intimacy."

"this is what you need the most courage for. to step forward in intimacy. the next thing you need the most courage for: to help others step into this intimacy, in a way special and unique to them. their gifts, their service, their glory, their legacy, all stems out of this intimacy, all flows into this intimacy.”

if it is that simple, why do i struggle so much? where is my boldness? what am i afraid of?

“standing at the door. not sure of whether you should come in. is there a right and a wrong? what if there is a wrong? come in, take a look and see. explore, take your time. you don’t always have to know what to do the first time. make mistakes. cry. laugh. pick yourself up. there is always mercy. there is always grace. lots of grace.”

father, i want to remain here. i want to sing. i don’t want to care what the world thinks anymore.

“good! fly, shine, arise. they are all symbols of the same thing. freedom. be yourself. be who you were created to be. allow me to flow through you and rejuvenate you.”

“you may seem silly to the world, but not in my eyes. there is an adventurous spirit in there. a boldness. a craziness. that’s you.”

“i will speak your destiny into your life. i will be the one, not you through your gift. it is different. you will know the difference.”

i love you Lord. i want you. you are so good. you know me.