His Presence

It has been ten years since I first knew Him. Since then, He has made me stronger and wiser, but the deepest thing I experienced never changed: it is His presence. His glory blew me away the first time He met me there, and today He still causes me to become undone. No revelation or vision or dream or blessing or achievement compares with it. I already had the most precious thing He could offer from that first day, and I want nothing more from Him.

A few friends encouraged me recently on the way I pursue His presence. This made me think a lot. I don't think of myself as being disciplined or hardworking in this aspect. I do know that I have had many hurts and sorrows in the last ten years, and He is the only one who could comfort and console me. I did not pursue Him; He was the one pursuing me. I am a broken man. I don't have anything to brag, except that He loves me. Deep in my heart, I have nothing to offer Him but my brokenness. But He seems happy just to have that from me.

Today, I am going to do something bold, something I've never done on my blog before. I have a strong feeling about this. I feel like if you are reading this, God wants to tell you something. Do you feel a tug in your heart? Do you feel a warmth in your head and neck? He is saying, "I love you. Son, let me. You don't need to do anything. You are all that I want from you. You may not know this, but I think you are awesome. I have always believed in you. You make me laugh, you make me cry. Come, let me. Let me surround you, let me hold you, let me wash your wounds, let me make you whole, let me satisfy you, let me make you happy. Give me a chance, I promise to be gentle, I promise to be easy. I want you to know that I accept you, everything that you are, you don't have to change. Is this for real? That's up to you, son. Your emotions are yours, your thoughts are yours; I will not control what you think or feel, I gave you this freedom the day I created you. But I am for real, and I am for you; that's really all I want you to know."