Tuesday, August 24, 2010

How He Loves

I was running frantically through the crowd. I had to get to the train station by 6:45pm, or I might have to wait an hour for the next train. Then, I thought: this is silly, I shouldn't worry at all, God is taking care of me, everything will be alright. I slowed down and looked to the ground in shame. "Sorry Lord, I don't know why I worry so much. I know I should be a warrior, not a worrier. But I keep falling back into my worries. I guess I haven't learned what it means to trust you." He looked at me and said, "what are you talking about?! Let's get running! Haha, come on, let's go!" And he dashed ahead of me, taunting me to catch up.

I stared at him in disbelief. I didn't know what to think. Shouldn't he tell me everything will be ok? Or perhaps he knows I'm going to miss my train? I ran after him. Finally, we reached the train station. It was a lot of fun.

I looked at the departure board. The train was going to arrive at 7:10pm, not 6:45pm. In fact, it was delayed by another 45 mins past 7:10pm. Good, that gives me time to get dinner, I thought. But I wondered why he ran with me, if he knew I was going to catch the train even if I walked? "Because I care about how you feel," he said. "If someone else was worried, wouldn't you do the same?"

A few days later, I was taking a shower, and I asked him about that again. "Lord, isn't the root cause of my worry my lack of trust in you? Why didn't you just speak the truth to me, that you are taking care of me? That would have cured me of my root issue." He smiled and replied, "that's one of the causes but its not the root." He paused. My mind raced through the other possible causes.

"I wanted you to know that I love you. I care about how you feel, no matter whether those feelings are justified or not. I would run anywhere and do anything stupid, as long as it is with you." He continued, "if you knew how much I love you, you would not worry." He smiled :)

Oh! How he loves us! I want to love others the same way, the same generous crazy way!

5 comments:

jem said...

bro, thanks for sharing =) how He loves us..

De Wen said...

I liked this. ^_^ I believe His nature is like that. What you say is true. If I saw Him run, I would be shocked. If He saw me run, He would be shocked.

shaowei said...

jem: He loves us each in unique ways!

dw: hahaha! :) i bet He would be...!

theresa said...

thank u. i really like "i want to be a warrior, not a worrier!"

shaowei said...

haha, thx! God taught me this phrase to redefine my identity a while back :) which is why i brought it up with Him again in this incident.