Dancing with God

This is one of my most memorable experiences with God. I remember about one night two years ago, I was pretty down so I went for a jog in the neighborhood. I went to my favorite basketball court which had some pull-up bars and benches in the corner. I sat there and poured out my sorrows to Him. He picked up my chin, and tilted my eyes to His. He looked straight into my depths with his clear blue eyes. Then, Jesus took my hands and motioned me to stand on my feet. We rocked slowly from side to side, as I shifted my weight from my left feet to my right, and back to my left. Without words, He led me gently. We walked and waltzed around the basketball court. It was a quiet night. There was no music, there were no words, there was no sound. But the sky was brimming with stars, and I was alone with Him.

I am remembering this now as I think back on all that happened to me in the past year. It has been an exciting year, but also sometimes scary as I made up my mind to trust Him even more than ever. But I have no regrets. I still remember how four years ago, He taught me to do what I want to do. I learned to live, not out of obligation, but from a place of passion in my heart. He loves seeing me choose what I want, and He makes all things work for my good. My needs were met, and I no longer struggled just to survive. This inspired me to dream bigger, and to think about what I really want out of my life. I started to thrive and to fly. And just when I realized that truly nothing is impossible because He is with me, I caught a glimpse of the core of my heart.

That I only wanted Him.

I want nothing more than to enjoy Him. I no longer doubt that He cares about what I want, so I stopped defending and protecting my needs and my wants before Him. I started asking what He wants, because He is so good! He gave me His everything, and required nothing in return. But that just makes me want to give Him my everything too. I want to see His plans succeed. I want to live in a place of supernatural wisdom and discernment, of knowing His heart, where reason is no longer sufficient, and trust is everything.

And so I realized that all these years, He has been teaching me to dance. In the beginning, I mimicked His every move, because I was afraid of being wrong and being embarrassed. He started to tell me that I am my own person. That no matter how I moved my hands and feet, it is all beautiful to Him. I started to leap and bounce and twirled around the room. Then, I saw His eyes, and they invited me to join Him in a dance. I watched Him flow gracefully, and I responded with every fiber of my body, and He in turn responded to my moves. The gift of dancing, it was in my DNA all along. I am in His flow, and He is in mine. And there is nothing left to hide.