Just Ask Him

Ever sat down in your prayer closet, and didn't feel like praying at all? That happens to me pretty often. Even though prayer always leaves me filled and joyful, somehow I still feel the reluctance when I sit down to pray. I always try to start by focusing my mind on Him, or by reading some Bible verses, or singing some worship songs. These methods often fail.

One method that always works is this: Just ask Him. Just ask Him to calm your nerves, so that you will not keep thinking of all the tasks that need your attention that day. Just ask Him to show you His love so that you will be filled with love for Him. Just ask Him to teach you more about Him, so that you may grow wiser and know His will for the day. Just ask Him. And wait.

The problem is that my mind cannot comprehend why this works. Even though I know that He is able to do all things, I keep depending on my own strength or effort to come to Him - I use my own effort to focus on Him, to read His word, to worship Him. I am learning more and more that by myself, it is impossible.

Perhaps this is why Paul says: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." in Phil 4:6-7.

This verse really spoke to me when recently, I felt overwhelmed by the amount of work required of me for the upcoming Japan and Iran trips. On top of that, I had quite a bit of research and reading to catch up on. Then, there was the Spook Show: I was worried that my friends would not enjoy themselves that evening. One method that always works in relieving me of stress is to write all my worries down. I did that. I felt worse. I had a lot more work back when I was in OCS HQ, but I never felt the same kind of stress. I felt useless.

So I did the only thing I could: I asked Him for help. I didn't know what this help would be. He should know better. For a while, I waited and nothing happened. Then, Paul's words came to mind: "Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." Wow, it is PURE JOY! Pure, like gold or silver! Isn't that amazing, that I can experience pure joy through my trials. Paul has often written on joy, but seldom has he talked of joy that is PURE. I saw that my problems were a testing of my faith. I saw that in my weakness, I have to learn to depend on God. Woo hoo! More glory to Him! More victory! More miracles! More wisdom! More joy! How awesome! How exciting this adventure will be!

I still don't understand how it works: just asking God. I think I subconsciously still feel that by asking God, I am just reminding myself to think about what the Bible says about my problem. Yet, the solution comes out of the blue, from God's heavenly realm into my mind. I can't explain it, I am not exaggerating. Perhaps that's why it is so beautiful : )