Worship: A Conversation

When I first became a Christian, I always looked forward to worship at my church (FCBC) every week! I loved how I felt during worship: the joy, the love, the peace, the beauty, the overwhelming revelations of His Being & His Kingdom!

Later, I heard a message on how worship is not an experience. A lot of people go to worship to experience the music, or the happiness. But after that, they forget everything and return to their normal lives, living for themselves and not for the Lord. You can tell this is the attitude of the people when they say things like this: "Today's worship was really good! I felt really good at the end of it."

I think the message really woke me up to the true meaning of worship: that worship is what we are offering up to the Lord, and not what He is giving to us. In worship, we are trying to please God, and not about waiting for a wonderful experience from Him.

Then, after that, I felt guilty whenever I step into a worship session expecting a wonderful experience. I would focus my mind on giving my praise to Him: "You are good! You are Holy!" Yet, the words felt meaningless, because I did not say them with conviction.

Recently, I brought my guitar to my office in I2R, and starting practicing on it just as Joel had taught me. Sometimes, worship in the prayer closet, is even deeper and more beautiful than in church. I am not saying personal worship is better, because the Lord is greatly blessed when He sees His people coming together in love before Him. But He also desires worship that is deep, that is not distracted by thinking of what others think, that is in Spirit and in Truth.

Worship in the prayer closet taught me that just as "we love because He first loved us", we cannot worship Him unless He aids us. Worship is like a love conversation:

"God, I want to worship You."

"Then, let Me help you. Do you know of My great love for you?"

"Yes, I do, but I don't know enough. What I know is only a grain in Your ocean of love for me."

"You are right, that is why worship will carry on to eternity, as you receive surpassingly great revelations of that love, forever. My Spirit will reveal these things to you, for you cannot know them by your own."

"Then Lord, fill me with Your Spirit, so that Your Spirit may speak Truth to me, that I may worship You in Spirit and in Truth."

"My Spirit is free, you cannot earn it by your own deeds or righteousness. Yet, My Spirit comes with a deep price. That price was paid by Me, on the cross. I died, so that you can worship Me, as you do now. For the right and ability to worship is the greatest blessing I can give to you. You will desire it and enjoy it for eternity."

Oh, that when we worship, we will not stick to the words of a song! That the songs may guide us into Truth, but the songs are not the worship! Worship is a conversation, an experience by both the Lover and the loved! If we do not experience Him, how can we worship Him? Yes, there will be times in the desert when we do not feel Him, yet we will continue to worship Him with whatever left we have, just as Job did. However, the Lord desires that we experience Him in worship: the experience should not be the focus, but it should also not be neglected.

When looking back at some of the worship conversations I have with God, I find it interesting that when I remove God's parts, it sounds like some worship song to me. I realized that many worship songs were written as part of some spiritual conversation with the Lord, and we need to hear the Lord for the words between the lines!

I am still thankful for the message I heard about worship: that it is not about the gift (worship experience) but about the Giver. It has helped me to gain a deeper understanding of what worship truly means, and I can now come to worship at church, not just expecting a gift, but also prepared to give one!